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SHEMPS, THE/TO HELL AND BACK Split 7"

The Shemps, like a fawn getting its legs, stumbling out of the placental sack, and then learning how to wield a chainsaw, The Shemps started out in the world as mild-mannered and have quickly evolved into a ripping unit. Parts pop, parts life of the party, part solid rock'n'roll mystery, I'd put them in league with The Stupor Stars. Nothing's missing and Artie's vocal snot ratchets the proceedings up a couple of notches. Plus, if you put "Suzie Werner played guitar on this recording, got arrested on tour, and quit the band a month later as a condition of her parole, Good Luck Suzie!" in your liner notes, you know you're dealing with a band that tests the edge of the blade. To Hell and Back; with members of Devoid of Faith and John Brown's Army, I was expecting more, uhh, hardcore than a slowed down Zeke.  I fall on the side of the pyramid that got their ass kicked while heavy metal got played on swung-open monster truck stereos in the parking lot in high school and those scars still haven't healed, no matter how progressive.  I've just recently embraced Motorhead and AC/DC as part of my rehabilitative therapy, but this is too much of a step. Sorry. Go Shemps! (Todd)

Bill: Wow so many references to cutting implements.

SHEMPS, THE
Spazz Out Pre-release
    Here's seventeen raw tracks from those New York hooligans, The Shemps, who introduce rock'n'roll into their unabashed punk rock with glorious results.  It's catchy toe-tapping fun that brings to mind the renaissance of the garage years, pre- mock blues and major label interest, when bands like The Devil Dogs, The Candy Snatchers (God bless the bleeders) etc, brought the clubhouse walls down, back when nobody really cared for this type of music.  So, The Shemps went through a major lineup change since we last heard from when they invaded Japan two years ago. Dave the Spazz (of WFMU fame) left his post under mysterious circumstances. Taking over the helm is Artie - the loveable, diminutive yet energy laden new vocalist that howls and hoots like Screamin' Jay Hawkins in the punk rock era.  Artie brings a fresh shot of urgency and Bill Florio, their long time be-boppin bassist and MRR columnist told me Artie once crashed his car into the side of a club where The Shemps were playing one night- they've been inseparable since.  Ah, I love a good love story.  Rounding out the lineup is Sue (who has left as of this writing) on rhythm guitar, Jimmy The Love Machine on those solid drums and our good friend Squeaky (ex- Flipside, Fizz contributor/ Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black Go-Go dancer/ Larry Clarke model/ ex-Stallions guitarist and all around good guy) who takes his violin bow to his guitar like a headhunter going to work on the other tribe. Eat your heart out The Creation.  The best thing about The Shemps is their longest song clocks in at an epic 2:18.  I love a band that doesn't waste my time with Beatles chord progressions and all that unnecessary studio time wanking!  The Shemps came down here back in December where they played a series of shows with The Stupor Stars.  which brought us the long awaited reunion of old friends, Mr. Rick Hall and Squeaky (who were both in The Stallions)  The shows were fun filled with break dancing, dildoing mics, Squeaky doin the splits and a couple of unnamed girls doing their best "Don't Talk to Me"  GG karaoke. Artie topped it off telling me he once macked on a chick with one arm. Those zany Shemps! Miss Namella Kim

Bill Says: Yikes ok Nam you like The Shemps, you've convinced us.  It's funny how Nam told me how she always gets every story wrong, you'd never cut it as the Gossip Queen.

Artie Says: Diminutive?!?!? Fuck.

Artie's mom : "You crashed my car into the side of what????:

Mom's not allowed to look at our site anymore.

PANISCUS REVUE

Bill: It seems like we shake our Asses in many peoples faces, I'm glad this reviewer feels our music promotes more of it.

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THE SHEMPS - Spazz Out CD (Reservation) A punk rock and hardcore circus! Featuring Dave 'Squeaky' Wilentz (ex-Chimpanzees and The Stallions), Maximum Rock N' Roll columnist and Bugout Society bassist, Bill Florio, Jim Hass on drums, and including ex-frontman for Indecision / Milhouse, and current Celebrity Murders' vocalist, Artie Philie and The Mercy Killer's Neil Halpin. Not their original lineup, but a definite three-ring if you ask me. "King of Garage" cranks out what to expect for the next half hour... a 60's garage-flavored hardcore-punk - almost as if The Hives stopped trying to be cute and butched-the-fuck-up. "Gimmie Everything" was all Weirdos, with an Adrenaline O.D. bass line and snotty lyrics. "Damn Shame" was some really catchy punk rock, with a little hardcore feel and a ton of hooky riffs. What would it sound like if Descendents went psychobilly? Well, listen to "Deep Thinker" and I think you'll know. "Lurker" was seemingly a nod to Dead Kennedys. Ending things off with their version of the 1965 Roy Head and the Traits' classic, "Treat Her Right". Fury, force, anger, catchy hooks and a little bit of clowning around. I told you it was a circus. (Sept 25, 2004)

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The SHemps “Spazz Out With THE SHEMPS!”
“Shemp” is a term that originated on the Three Stooges set as a term for stand-ins. Now actors and filmmakers, including Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi, use the term frequently and quite derisively. So did this band give themselves an accurate nomenclature? Let’s examine. On first listen, there is nothing terribly original about this album. As a friend said, “It sounds like Henry Rollins started a garage band.” Then you realize that the music is refreshingly simple. It’s a high speed, lo-fi garage punk sound: a little rough around the edges but melodic enough to keep you listening. Next, you notice the one thing that sets this band apart from others- the lyrics; it is perhaps due to the fact that singer Bill Florio is also a writer (for your second favorite punk zine). The words are occasionally smart and always smart-assed. On “Gimme Everything,” Florio croons, “If you’re taking me out, I want the kitchen sink/ No Bud or Miller if I’m gonna drink/ I want smoked caviar, lobster claws and strict German purity laws/ Gimme everything or gimme nothing at all.” Finally, any band that can unapologetically include the following sentence in their press kit is worth checking out: “If you give in to THE SHEMPS, haven’t the terrorists already won?” (Reservation Records, 7101 SE Reed College Place, Portland, OR, 97202 – www.reservationrecords.com) - Becki Carr

Artie thought he was being cute putting Bill - Thumps Artie - Dork Neil - Squeals etc etc but obviously reviewers can't tell a thump is bass and all that. I did write those lyrics tho, so who cares. I guess Henry Rollins is a diss for singing style, also Becki didn't tell us if we fit as Stand-Ins, its sorta like how that Standells song starts out I'm gonna tell you a story and the rest of the song only says I love that dirty water, thats no story. WTF

Bill

SHEMPS, THE/TO HELL AND BACK Split 7"

    Roly poly Bill Florio, number one maximum columnist, and his assorted band of east coast muck savages, dirt bikers, and speed freaks throw up a rollicking foursome of garage rockers. Brashed out in frantic style, just as urgent and brash as those once leaders THE MOTARDS, those young pretenders THE REATARDS, and a little bit of the obnoxiousness of THE CANDY SNATCHERS. Next up, TO HELL AND BACK, relying more on the rock and less on the roll. Big guitars, big sound, and a slight nod into hardcore, making another worthwhile listen. Comparisons? Just fucking buy the thing and figure it out yourself. Sean Dougan

Bill: It's easier to fix roly poly than Diminutive.

Click to Listen

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THE AMAZOMBIES, THE HOLLOWPOINTS, THE SHEMPS, CHASED AND SMASHED
(Zak's) A friend recently passed along These Bands Are Coming to Eat Seattle, a great punk compilation featuring Mea Culpa, the Hollowpoints, and the Amazombies. Since putting it on, I can't get one song out of my head: the Hollowpoints' "P.O.W.," a super-catchy call-and-response-chorus antiwar song about refusing to die for your country. If you're into the newer pop-anthem punk that still has a spine (à la the Distillers), the Hollowpoints' politically aware stance makes their hook-laced music that much better. The Amazombies have signed to Go-Kart Records, and have a new album coming out soon. The trio includes two female singers who manage to sound gritty and sweet in the course of one speedy song, while their Y-chromosome counterpart balances the act with a hearty, grizzled-sounding voice. If you hit this show, be sure not to miss out-of-towners the Shemps, an excellently wild, Sonics-loving garage-rock act from New York. You can feel the sweat droplets still steaming on their vinyl; they remind me of the Cheater Slicks--just as wild, only much less intoxicated. You'd have to be nailed to your seat not to jump around to these guys, and I'm really excited to see what comes along with their live show. JENNIFER MAERZ -   The Seattle Stranger

Comments: Nailed to her seat indeed.

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Miranda Sound, The Shemps, Manda and the Marbles

A promising evening with a lot of bands and people you actually know started out pretty boring. The first band was already performing their set and you can basically say two things about them: - bandname: Mirinda Sound (like the refreshing drink we have in Europe) - style: boring. We did what most of the audience was up to while they were playing, we tried to be social and enjoyed ourselves. Artie, former Milhouse and Indecision member, was next with his new band called "The Shemps". As soon as he entered the stage he started bitching and tried to scare the audience by rudely dancing and directly addressing the people up front. I'm not sure if it was the music or his attitude, but a lot of people turned their backs on The Shemps, hiding somewhere in the back of the venue. For all of you who think the Shemps to be a xXx hardcore band with a message - far from it. The Shemps are enjoyable punk'n roll, pissed but never losing their special sense of humor. If you can deal with it, this band's for you - the rest can "fuck off", according to their charismatic, yet thrilling spokesman. At least I could see many scared faces, so one could say it was a successful show. If only his "jewish boss" would sign them....
 Manda and the Marbles was next to complete this evening - not because they were headlining - which they weren't - but because we are talking about a band that has just released a beautiful new album full of catchiness and wonderful, yet poppy punk arrangements. Also their live show was a blast - thick, ambitioned, catchy. The band enjoyed it, the audience was completely into it and the quality was as good as on their album "More Seduction". Their only problem I guess is that they are not really good entertainers - so announcements were rare, if at all. However, probably the audience was still shocked and paralyzed by the Schemps' show.
Headlining act were the Little Killers, however, I cannot really say anything about the band since I was trying to be social during their set.
 

Review of this Review

Accuracy: 8

Proofreading: 2

Mean Factor : 5 (this factor is measured on a Greedy Bastard biased scale)

Comments: Great photo there dude.  Lay off the zoom and risk getting yer leg humped next time. All in all a great review, this guy obviously came to the show to see Manda and the Marbles yet 57% of this review was about the Shemps! 

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Clorox Girls, The Innocents, The Shemps, Diskords, The Catholic Boys, Meow Meow, Jan. 14
Man, it was cold Friday! I don't like cold, and I don't like being out and about on a cold night, even to see live music. Why go out and see what could be mediocre crap and worry about getting home/not freezing to death when can stay home and listen to your stereo, which never disappoints? Cold or not, a stereo can only provide so much, and I feel guilty wasting a Friday night. Plus I didn't want to miss the chance to see one of the last shows at the Meow Meow.

Upon entering I felt somewhat like an alien, as most of the crowd were kids, some as young as eight, dyed hair and all. I spotted one young-un, an angry anarchist whose riot outfit kind of made him look like a ninja. He just sat looking like he was ready to throw a rock at a cop car; he probably wasn't more than 12, which made him cuter.

The first band, the Innocents, was probably the most original band to play that night. They feature the infamous Muslim. I say infamous because it seems that almost everyone in this town is familiar with him and his Punk Rock ways. If you are ever at some bar and don't know anyone there, if you mention him, about 85% of the responses will be "Oh yeah, I know Muslim." The last time I saw the Innocents, both he and his cohort Jason Dollar were pretty ragged as they were a bit under the influence, and their playing was so disorderly and loud that one of their amps blew a fuse. The Meow Meow gig was a dramatic improvement and their sound was like H�sker D� meets Crime. Dollar's guitar was out of tune, but they were so tight and it sounded so cool, I had just assumed it was supposed to be that way. Many others have witnessed their sometime incompetence so they kind of have a bad reputation. If they had their shit together, they'd be headlining instead of opening.

The second band, the Shemps, really irritated me. They reminded me of every bad opening punk rock act I saw in 1998. They tried to put on an ironic pose by wearing riot-gear helmets, but it just made them look stupid. They did an "Uncontrollable Urge/Circle One" medley that made me ashamed to like either of those songs. The Innocents should have never preceded this god-awful excuse for a musical act.

This show was the first time I've seen the Diskords, who're supposed to be the most badass 16-year-olds in P-town. I'd have rightly agreed, had they been able to keep their guitars in tune. The five-minute gaps between songs got a bit annoying after awhile. Same goes for the Catholic Boys who had similar problems. Their lead guitarist had the Johnny Ramone look down pat and I liked their name (after all I am a Catholic boy myself). A friend of mine told me that the Clorox Girls sound like the Dils, so I was looking forward to seeing them since I haven't heard "Blow Up!" since I was in high school. They didn't really have much in common musically with the Dils, although the guitarist/lead singer did kind of look like Chip Kinman. They had a lot of energy, and they had excellent stage presence, and all the kids were going nuts, but their music was kind of a standard pop-punk that made wish I'd have stayed home and listened to the Dils. -Tage Savage

We didn't do Circle One, we did Lexicon Devil. While you may be worried about your music criticism skills we have  8 year old ninjas to entertain. I'm sure if I played a windchime and an autoharp this guy would be kissing our asses "Hey ya know that guy Bill, everyone knows him, like 85% of the girls that won't give me their number rave about him, so I gave his artsy fartsy band a good review so he'll put in a good word with the ladies for me"  I see you writing for some big time college newspapers once you get kicked out of Portland State. Just for the record this was a damn good punk rock show, the crowd was yelling insults, there was cheap cola sold in the back and ya know what, if it all made this guy feel like an alien with his indie rock exteriors, then someone is doing something right.

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SHEMPS, THE
"On 45" 7”
Dirty garage with hot, crusty bubble gum stuck to the bottom of Converse and a lot of shimmy tuned into the guitars. The recording seems a little thin, like you can imagine the instruments punching you in the chest and doing some damage, but it just doesn’t come through the headphones. Apparently, this was a transitional time for the band – the vocalist and guitarist have been replaced since this was recorded. It’s okay. -Retodd (Weekend)

Well I think Todd heard our new stuff before he wrote the review for our 7" it's kinda funny how he assumed we replaced the guitarist anyhow,  here's what Todd emailed me a few weeks later. Yay we'd love Todd and Razorcake even if they thought we sucked.

 Thanks, I hope you didn't actually get paid for that. Bill

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